How To Keep the Romance Alive with a New Baby at Home

Now that you’ve welcomed a new baby into your life, you may find yourself up all night with a crying infant instead of up all night with your significant other. With this new bundle of joy, you may find yourself wanting to do nothing more than sleep in your bed, let alone anything else. One of the healthiest things you can do, not only for yourself but for your relationship, is to keep it a priority even after your baby’s arrival. While your relationship has now changed, try to keep the spark alive with these helpful tips and get your groove back.

Focus on your partner

Now that you’ve got a newborn, you’ve probably already figured out how much time you need to dedicate to care-giving. But you shouldn’t let baby’s needs sidetrack you from the relationship that helped you bring this new joy into the world. It’s easy to neglect your spouse or significant other when you’ve become so baby-centered. When your baby goes down for a nap, try spending one-on-one time with your partner, doing an activity you both enjoy. And if you’re too tired to do anything, pick out a show to binge-watch together that’s exciting, and you can talk about afterward. By keeping your partner a top priority, you’re ensuring a more loving and balanced home for your baby.

Don’t stop dating!

Being in a committed relationship with kids doesn’t mean you’re done dating! Your parents or other family members would love to watch your little one for a few hours (or the whole night!) while you and your partner can go on a date. We recommend rotating your family or friends - or even calling a babysitter, so you’re not relying on the same person(s) each time you go out. If money’s tight with the amount you’re spending on diapers now, consider having an at-home date night. Once your baby has been fed, changed, fallen asleep for the night, have a picnic on the living room floor or outside if the weather is nice.

Budget accordingly

Having a baby impacts your finances. With the added costs of formula, diapers, and check-ups at the doctor, you could be inadvertently adding stress to your marriage. Sit down with your partner and go over your monthly or weekly income to figure out the best budget for your family. Start with the bills you have to pay first, like your mortgage or rent, car payment, and health insurance. Then taxes, groceries, etc. Once you’re able to visualize your income and expenses, you can see where your wiggle room is for funding date nights or weekend excursions. Suppose you can find a way to save on your electricity bill or your groceries. In that case, whether it be through discounts your work may offer or taking a few extra minutes to clip coupons, you might find there’s some extra money left over for you to go out to eat or another miscellaneous fun activity with your partner. 

Keep up appearances

With a newborn, it’s easy to roll out of bed in your sweatpants and unbrushed hair to care for your child - you’re busy and enjoy the comfiness being at home has to offer. However, your significant other may be out of the house more than you are, seeing people putting effort into their appearance. When you care about how you look, you may find that your self-esteem is boosted, and you feel more attractive to your partner. If you take the time to throw on some mascara and wear something more appealing than that sweatshirt you’ve had since college, you may find that your appearance affects your attitude positively!

Communicate with your partner

No matter where you are in life, having open and honest communication with your partner is key to any successful relationship. Tell your partner you want to re-focus on your relationship and voice any concerns you may have about focusing all of your attention on the baby and not on your partner. Ask them if they feel neglected and discuss scheduling date nights or special times for you to reconnect. In addition to openly discussing your feelings, try to make an effort to send texts or other messages to your partner that are more than just grocery shopping lists - be flirty! You’ll find that your desire to keep the spark will always be there by communicating with your partner.

Stay intimate

While it may be more challenging to stay intimate after you’ve had a baby, take some time to kiss your partner throughout the day. Try giving them a reassuring squeeze on the arm when you walk past them to get a bottle out of the fridge. Think back to when you were dating and the flirty looks you would give your spouse - next time you see them across the room, give them the flirty look you did way back when. Remember the physical reasons you fell in love with your partner, whether it’s their eyes, their lips, or their hair, and let those fires ignite inside of you. Take advantage of the times that your baby is napping and freshen yourself up for your partner by putting some time into your appearance, and you’ll find that these small steps will make for a more intimate life with your partner, strengthening your relationship.

Hopefully, this list gives you a few ideas on rekindling the romance!